Things I have prayed for in the past week or so:
*that God would lead us & guide us to do His will
*that God would make His will clear to us
Chris got contacted about taking a new job in a different city. He was excited about the new possibilities that could come with this job. I was excited about making a move, although sad at the same time. (I hate change!) Seriously, I had sooo many emotions that I really couldn't think straight. I felt like I wanted to cry almost all the time but didn't let the tears fall very often mainly because I was afraid if I started I wouldn't stop!
Getting ready to drive across the country for 2 weeks for Christmas break didn't help my stress level one bit. I didn't know if we were going to get back to town after being gone for 2 weeks and then move 2 weeks later. I was really going kind of crazy! Thinking about moving Gracie in the middle of a school year was positively frightening to me! I know she probably would have been fine-and there was a chance we would have been able to put her in a Christian school-but I was still scared stiff thinking about making that kind of change with such short notice. I'd even thought about homeschooling her for the rest of the year-and I don't typically think about homeschooling my children, although it's fine if others want to do it.
I'm trying to make a long story short, but I'm not sure it's possible. Mom came last week to stay with the girls 2 nights while Chris & I went to check out this other town and the office in that town where he'd be working. Our preacher had talked recently about looking for roadblocks when you're making plans....so I was looking, while trying not to be pessimistic. I had been praying that God would make His will clear to us so we wouldn't question it and that He would guide us to do His will.
The town was beautiful and full of fun things to do and places to shop. That's good, right?
We looked at the Christian school. While not completely blown away, I know we could have been happy with it, but I was worried about paying for it. opportunity for Christian education or roadblock???
We talked with a realtor and found out that buying a house not much larger than what we have now would almost double our house payment. roadblock! If we were going to make a move like this, I didn't want to move to a house the same size, or barely larger, than what we have now. I'm no snob who has to have the best of the best, but we really are busting the seams in our house right now. Chris would be getting a raise, but with the cost of living difference it wouldn't seem like too much of a raise. I realize that even buying a different house here would require our house payment to go up, but there's no way we could get for our house here what it could get there.
Chris went to talk to the people in the office. He came back and said it didn't go well and that they were looking for someone completely different than what he had to offer! roadblock! Seriously, the week before (after interviewing in a different town with different people) he had been told that he would receive an offer in the mail that next week (2 days before we traveled to the town we were visiting) then he was told that he should visit the office first then he would receive the offer. When he visited with them he discovered that it wasn't going to be a good fit and he could tell that 5 minutes into meeting with the guy!
We were worried that if he turned down the offer after going through so much with them (interview, reimbursable trips, etc.) that he would look bad. He was prepared to call tomorrow and let them know that it just didn't appear that things were going to work out right now for him & this company. One of the guys called this afternoon and said, "Let's just put things "on ice" for right now." *whew* He agreed with him and that's that! They may resume talks later but for now, we are staying put!
Hooray! Really, I'm not against moving and it probably will happen someday, maybe even with this company, but for now we're staying put and I will be able to go away for Christmas much happier and relaxed. At first, I'd been excited about the move, but when I really started praying for God to guide us to His will, I started feeling this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach about it. It just didn't feel right. I believe that He made us really see some things on this trip that was His way of revealing His will to us.
It's been a weird 2 weeks and I'm glad they're over. Now I can just focus on packing for 2 weeks and driving from South Carolina to New Mexico with a 6 year old and a potty training 2 year old-easy, right? Not to mention the fact that Friday (the day we're leaving and I want to leave as soon as we pick up Gracie from school) I am chaperoning a field trip and attending Gracie's class party. How will everything get done?!?! I don't know but I'm sure it eventually will.
There are other things I could write but I'm tired and there's a lot to get done!
Things I am thankful for: God who takes care of us! my husband & children with whom I really could be happy anywhere! my friends who cried when I told them I was moving! my friends who encouraged me to do what was best for my family! my dad who kept reminding us to pray for the right thing!