discouragement

This is another one of those posts that maybe shouldn't be made public, but here goes.

I won't lie to you. I'm discouraged. I guess Satan decided he didn't like my idea, so he decided to sabotage it. Almost since Gracie started Kindergarten, I've wanted to have a "Mom's Prayer Group" compiled of moms from her school. I have wanted to do this forever and have put it off because I was nervous or intimidated or scared or whatever you want to call it. Last week I decided to go out on a limb and just do it. I felt like God really wanted me to do this.

I sent out an email to 17 ladies I know from the school-some from Gracie's class, some from PTA, etc. I sent the email to 3 others later and also called 1 that I didn't have her email address. Out of those 21 people I contacted, I heard from 12 of them-but none of them came. That leaves 9 who I never heard from at all. I can't help but take this as a personal rejection. I know I shouldn't make it about me, but it's hard not to.

Now, to be fair, a lot of the ones I did hear from were very supportive. In my email, I basically invited them to my home for a short time of prayer for our children, their teachers, administrators, & the school in general. I said that I feel that the best way to help our children be successful & to help the school be a great place to send our children is to pray for the above mentioned things.

Quite a few of the ladies made comments about it being a good idea and thanks for inviting them but they couldn't come for one reason or another. Some of them are very legitimate reasons. MB was planning to come, but her son woke up with fever and needed to stay home from school. Some have to be at work during that time. There are probably at least 4 who I feel WILL come when it works out. One was planning to come but said she thinks she has strep, one is recovering from complications from surgery, and one had already made plans for the morning but will plan to come next week. With MB & myself, that would be a good group of 5 of us which would be great if it works out. I encouraged all of them to bring a friend with them as there are many who I just didn't have their email addresses. The school has around 600-700 kids so there are plenty-I just don't know all of them!

I went ahead & got dressed and had the house picked up this morning since I'd asked them to come right after they drop off their kids. When Chris left the house, he said, "Good luck with your thing." I told him that no one was coming but I was going to be ready just in case anyone showed up.

I'm so discouraged by those who didn't respond at all. I don't really know what to think about the overall lack of involvement. Most of these people have shown me that they have some kind of faith so it's not like I went out & invited a lot of people who were offended by the invitation. I guess I'm overanalyzing it by wondering if this is God trying to tell me something about it not being a good idea or if it's Satan just trying to sabotage it & discourage me from even trying to do this.

This is just something that I've thought about for sooooo long. This is so out of my comfort zone. Praying aloud even in front of my family is hard for me. However, I felt like if God wanted me to do this that He would help me.

I'm discouraged but will continue to pray that God will make this what HE wants it to be.