Sunday, August 07, 2005

specific answer

Sometimes I think I don't fully recognize the answers to my prayers. I do understand that God always answers my prayers. Sometimes it's not the answer I was hoping for, but "no" is still an answer.

What I mean, though, is that sometimes when God answers "yes," I don't always stop to recognize it as an answer or to appropriately thank Him.

As any of you who have read my blog lately know, my baby, Gracie, is starting Kindergarten this week. I know I've blogged about it an immense amount, and I appreciate those who have commented to me with words of encouragement. (I promise that my other child, Katie, is not a figment of my imagination. She is a precious 17 month old angel and I will write more about her soon. This whole Kindergarten thing is just kind of in the forefront of my writing right now!)

Anyway, it's only "2 more next days," and the anxiety (for me, not Gracie) is building. I'm very happy about the teacher & the classroom, etc. but there have been a few concerns that have crept into my mind lately. Logistical type things like if it rains, I can' t walk her so I'd have to use car line and it's supposed to rain the first day of school and there's no way I'm dropping her off that first day without walking her to her classroom and what if it rains the second day and I still don't feel comfortable dropping her off, etc., etc., etc. (Sorry for that run-on sentence!)

The first day, I already have a friend lined up to watch Katie for me and Chris is going to go in to work late so he can go with us. He told me if it's raining (there aren't many places for parents to park) he'll drop us off and drive back around after I've taken her to her room. Of course, he wants to go to the room with us, but worst case scenario if we can't walk her from our house because of the rain and there is no place to (legally!) park, he'll drop us off. But, my mind says, what about the 2nd day and the 3rd day, etc. I know after a time, I'll feel comfortable using car line, but not for at least a week or so.

So, I'm sitting in the den and my mind is racing with "what if this" & "what if that." I pray that God will help me to be comfortable with the situation, etc.

Not 20 minutes later, Chris comes in and with tears brimming in my eyes, I'm relaying my fears to him (again!) He says, "Well, 7:30 isn't too late for me to leave for work and actually Wednesday, (the 2nd day of school) I have a meeting in town at 9:00 and don't have to be anywhere for work until that time."

Immediately, relief washes over me! So, the 2nd day of school, he can go with us to drop her off which will help me and if there's ever another day where I still feel like I need help, he can probably do it and still get to work at a decent time.

All of a sudden, it hit me! I had just prayed for me to feel comfortable, then Chris comes in and basically hands me a solution straight from God! Wow! That was fast work on God's part!

Thank you, Lord. I so appreciate this comfort that you have given me!

I know some of you probably think that I'm a basketcase and a nut job. I promise I'm not. I'm just a worrywart who's sending her baby to Kindergarten for the first time. I'm trying to trust in the Lord more to help with my worries.


MDM said...

I feel your pain. It is really hard to believe that tiny little thing from the picture is going off to school. I did the drop-off car lane a few times in Kindergarten. It was hard for me to let go. I got in the habit of walking Rachel in every morning with a few other moms. It was neat to be up at the school every morning watching all the action. I continued this with the same moms until this past year. (2nd) We all walk them in sometimes and drop them others. The kiddos drop their lunches off in the cafeteria on the way to their room, so I would drop Rach by the cafe. She then would have the responsibility to get to her classroom on her own. It is really tough at first to figure out all the comings and goings at the school. You will be an expert by next week!!! Is Gracie full day?? Our district just went to full day. Rach was half and it was so fun. Zoe will probably have to go full day, which will be hard on me. What will I do with my time???? Baby number 3?

elizabeth said...

I hope you have a good week. My Matthew is starting school next week. I am really excited for him and I am not too worried about him, only because of his personality. You have to know him, but I would have not been worried about him going to kindergarten at 3!

What gives me heartache is knowing that my 3 year old, Thomas only has two more years at home. He is my "baby" and I feel much more protective toward him.

Please don't read that I love him more, only that Matthew is just extremely independent!

Although I am not worried about Matthew or upset that he won't be home all of the time, I do feel a pang of sadness knowing that we are closing this chapter in his life. If these 5 1/2 years have gone this quickly, I can't imagine how quickly the rest of his little childhood will go.

OK, I am now getting a little sad. I need to stop writing!!

Kristen said...

As a former Kindergarten teacher, I can PROMISE you, that you won't be the only mommy that has cried, worried, and fretted about the first days of school. It always made me smile when the kids would be great about leaving to come in the room and the moms & dads would be out in the hallways wanting to check on them. Now that I am a parent myself (I wasn't at the time I taught), I can recognize how extremely anxious I will be on the first day of school when Sam goes off to Kindergarten. Walk her in as many days as you want and can...there will come a time (probably sooner than we all want) that they will want to be dropped off down the street and walk in alone, so enjoy this special time! Your family will do great and good luck!!